I need to vent. Vent for anyone out there who has ever been made to feel self-conscious and insecure. To those people that make us feel bad or not like our true selves. Suck a big, hairy one! (including me, read below)
Yesterday I had one of those, “woe is me” moments, and just felt really badly about myself. I went on a date with a guy Sunday, and it was good, but I didn’t feel 100% comfortable, the way I did with several ex’s. I yearn for that instant chemistry and connection, and when it’s not there, I usually say “whatever, on to the next.” With this one, I decided he was actually really nice and what I was looking for, so I would see if things got better between us.
And then he told me he “was looking for something different.” As my best friend, Lindsay, said, “dafuqqqqq is ‘something different?'” Sometimes you need your best friend to slap you in the face and bring you back to life. I was wondering what “different” was. He’s a CrossFit coach, so maybe he wanted seriously toned like a CF competitor, or maybe he wanted someone who didn’t talk the way I did, or acted differently. Then I realized, it doesn’t matter what his “something different” meant. This is who I am, and the person I will become is only reserved for those that care enough to stay by my side.
His different wasn’t me, and that’s fine, because there are still so many babes out there that I want to pinch. I will admit that hearing your mostly tamed bf drop bombs left and right made things a lot better.
*During the writing of this post, I was informed of what “something different” was. Turns out it had to deal with the “click” not being there, because that’s fine, I only felt 75% “clicked” with him, whatever the eff that means. All along I was thinking in my head that I wasn’t fit enough (my biggest demon), when it was just that our personalities weren’t 200% compatible. My personality is the ONE thing I love the most about myself, and while that was what didn’t work for us, it didn’t even offend me.
So, for the 50th moral of this post (the first one being screw those poopheads that make you feel insecure or bad about yourself), stop being your worst critic!
Yes my body is something I am always working on improving, and yes I’m trying to tone several wobbly bits, but just because I’m working on being better physically, that gives me NO reason to always think my body is why a man isn’t interested.
Getting this far in the post made me realize that I AM also making myself feel insecure. Dafuqqqq is up with that?!
You are you. There is always something everyone of us wants to make better about ourselves, but have you ever stopped and looked around to see how many people love you just the way you are? How about when you’re ready to tackle big challenges… your support system is still there. That’s what matters. So stop letting yourself and others get into your head and make you feel less significant than you really are.
I’m going to start doing that, and I hope you do too!