Don’t be fooled by that smile. There once was a time when I hated running. Let’s rewind.
I started running in the spring of 2009 during the end of my junior year of college. My college boyfriend’s mom was an avid runner, and I figured that running would not only help me lose weight, but it would also bring me closer to my boyfriend, who I knew I was losing.
When spring hit, while I watched college students laying on the grass with friends, throwing the football around and studying outside, I was upstairs looking out the glass windows of the gym while I ran. I ran to be loved by someone incapable of loving me, and I ran to get fit and to love myself. While I ran, I bitched and cried invisible tears. I HATED RUNNING. It was awful, painful and hard, but I kept at it and just kept going.
During my senior year of college I kicked up my love of fitness, and while I would run every now and then, it was never more than a mile or two. It was just another form of cardio for me.
In February of 2011 I headed out West to stay with my best friend Jaime and her sister in Los Angeles, and since gyms were too expensive, I started running two times a day, roughly 2-3 miles a run. I’ve never been the type to sit around not being active so I knew running was my only form of exercise, aside from workout videos.
I ran in the morning before I applied for jobs, and also when I needed an afternoon break from the endless job search. I ran and I ran and I loved it. I fell in love. True love. That college relationship I had, maybe it was love, but running showed me what true love feels like.
I moved back home and kept at the running. I’ve logged every run since March 29, 2011. I knew how many miles I’ve run on each day, whether it be through a sprained groin or a busted foot. I know the exact mileage I’ve covered since 3/29/11, and I compete with myself to keep my running streak going.
I run faster and longer and more powerful and I am so glad that I found running. It’s my “me time.” It’s the part of my day where I’m selfish, and I have absolutely no problem with that. Running is a part of my day and my life, and I don’t see a breakup anytime soon. Maybe I didn’t make that college boyfriend fall in love with me forever, but I sure as hell have fallen in love with myself.