Tuesday night I had a complete meltdown. I felt the worst I had felt since starting CrossFit. I felt completely bloated and became extremely self-conscious and lacked confidence, something that rarely happens.
I refused to run outside after work because I felt so gross and big. Instead, I went to my parent’s house and used the treadmill in their basement. I ran 1 mile and walked half a mile and then stopped. I felt so frustrated, and even wanted to punch the wall in between holding back tears. I didn’t know why my body was becoming bloated after almost every meal and why my body was so hormonal.
And then I emailed my coach and just let it all out. With her guidance, we’ve decided to play around with several things. Like for starters, I have to chill out with my gum addiction. I go through a pack of Orbit gum in 2 days, it’s not good, but it keeps my mouth busy and unnecessary food in my mouth for when I’m not hungry. We’ve decided to switch my weigh in days to Thursday, and to once a week. Right now, my workout schedule looks like this:
- Monday – CrossFit and 2 miles
- Tuesday – CrossFit and 2-3 miles
- Wednesday – CrossFit and 2-3 miles
- Thursday – 3-4 miles
- Friday – CrossFit and 2-3 miles
- Saturday – CrossFit and run or just run
- Sunday – run what my body tells me to
I might take out a Monday or Tuesday CrossFit workout and bring back another morning run, but that is just talk with my coach for now.
The good thing, is that yesterday I finally felt better and more my like myself. I was happy to be back with my favorite people. Before we began, I ran a warm-up mile around the building. When I was taking off my running shoes and putting on my CF shoes, my friend Kara told me I wasn’t supposed to run.
The one morning I don’t look at the board. I told the girls not to tell Mat I just ran a mile. The fact that he said no running really worried me, thinking we’d have to do 100 box jumps, but when I saw our WOD, I thought what the heck, that’s it?
I realized that not every WOD will leave us dying, out of breath and wanting to puke, like Tuesday’s workout did.
And then I realized, while sitting at my desk working the day away, that the workouts that you think aren’t that killer, are the hardest ones. My body was beyond tired, and instead of going for a short 1-2 mile run on my lunch hour, I went home, crawled into bed, and watched more of How I Met Your Mother.
It was the perfect way to end a very long and tiring day.
I only ran 1 mile yesterday, and didn’t get the other half of my run in on my lunch or after work, and ya know what, I didn’t care and I didn’t feel guilty about it at all. I’ve learned a lot about not overdoing it, overexercising, and listening to my body.
I’m hoping to play around more with my meals and try and determine what is triggering instant bloating. My coach said as long as I’m hitting my food targets, that I can’t feel guilty, that I’m doing the best I can, and it will even out when my body gets more accustomed to CrossFit.
How do you handle the moments when you need to breakdown over frustration in reaching your body/fitness goals?