Hi there my friends! I’m surprised I’m popping in today with a post because I’ve really had zero desire to blog lately. All I do during the winter is eat, sleep, workout, and work… and on weekends I play. I live a boring life, and now that I am practically retired from dating, what the heck am I supposed to talk about.
I will just have to dedicate posts to my ramblings, like yesterday I voted in the NH Primaries.
I have been working with a new coach the past 3 ½ weeks. Katie is programming both my workouts and my macros. In regards to workouts, she is going to turn me into a better runner, so she has specifically programmed strength workouts and training runs. I love it. I feel as if I have found a coach who is perfect for me, as she, as well, has a love for both lifting and running. I have about 8 weeks left in this cut she has me on, and I’m excited to see results!
When I told Katie my goals, I said that I wanted to get stronger, but also to be a better runner and really get my pace down, so she puts me through very complex workouts that will get me to my goal.
I’ve been in a total funk with my eating lately, and while I would say I was at 95% motivation and drive, I was missing that last 5% that would make it click, aka, that would have me hitting my macros spot on. I would do so perfect during the day, and after dinner when I was bored, I would eat. Nothing big. Just something small here and there, but even something small can derail you! I had a legit meltdown to Lindsay on Monday morning, and just letting it all out truly helped, and I swear, the moment after I barfed my emotions to her, it all just clicked.
So 2 days I’m feeling 100% driven, so let’s all cross our fingers that it continues.
What else can we ramble about? Today marks the first day of Lent. I’ve decided to give up unnecessary spending on workout clothes, shoes, clothing, random things, etc, along with giving up unnecessary nighttime eating. <– that will be hard, ha!
Also, I had to come out of dating retirement. I swear, not even a week into being retired and I had to come out. Men really bother me, ha!
I don’t think my Mom approves of my dating retirement because she is #TeamBabies, and she asked if I was being too picky. I said, “Mom, I just want a guy to like me back, and it’s getting to be tiring.” Dating is not fun anymore. It’s hard to find a guy that wants more than just a booty call, and when he does want something more, for some reason, there is no mutual “likeness.” After awhile, it really starts to mess with your confidence, and you begin to pick yourself apart and start rattling off things that he “maybe” doesn’t like about you. Must be my hips, or my thighs, or maybe it’s my arms. Why did my face start breaking out? I swear it’s never like this. Maybe he thinks my way of eating is weird.. yadda yadda yadda, the list can go on and on until you don’t even recognize the girl in the mirror that you just self-destroyed.
And that’s why I wanted to take a step back from dating. Because I’m tired of meeting guys who only want one thing. I’m tired of continuous first dates, and being left with feelings of unworthiness. I’m tired of seeing my confidence get rocked and shattered. I’m tired of not being as happy as I was when I was confident and only relied on my own self-worth. And the worst part is, is that they’re not the ones saying these things… I am!
Hey Allie, guess what… sometimes you can go on one date and know that they aren’t the one you’ll marry. I have that happen a lot where I know the guy isn’t my future husband after one date, and men have the same right to have those feelings. So next time you think something is wrong with you, maybe you two just aren’t right for each other, and that’s all it is!
I want a man that wants to take me out. That asks me questions about big and little things because he genuinely cares. I want someone who likes me for me and that never makes me feel like I need to change or that I’m not good enough. So after this date, until I come across that genuine guy, I want absolutely nothing to do with dating, or guy’s ideology of what dating is.
And lastly for Lent, I am giving up tearing myself apart.
Time for me to end this post, as I just heard a knock on the door and it looks as if my sass and confidence has decided to move back into my apartment. Party time!